How to Fire Someone with Kindness

Strategies for ending professional relationships with dignity and grace

You’ve given it time. You’ve lost sleep. You’ve tried every trick in the book. However, the reality is that it’s just not working out.

As a business owner, you know all about having to do difficult things, but THIS is likely the toughest one you’ll have to do. Yes, you guessed it: firing someone.

Handle with care.

Ending a professional relationship is never a simple decision, but it's often a necessary one for the health and success of your business.

Regardless if that’s happening with a member of your team, a vendor, or a client, there are ways to help ease the discomfort. 

Here are some proven strategies to help you handle these delicate situations with dignity.

Review your legal obligations.

Prevention here could save you a lot of headaches and lawsuits later! There are federal and state laws to consider. Then, there are your contracts’ agreed-upon terms and conditions.

When in doubt, speak with a lawyer who specializes in this field. Also, invite a neutral third party to witness your termination meeting. They can (openly) record it and take notes (and be there to intervene in the off-chance that tempers flare).

Be empathetic but brief.

Whether it’s in person or via Zoom, don’t drag out the conversation. Start by thanking them for their contributions to your business and reflecting on a few positive aspects of your relationship together.

Next, tell the person that you’re terminating your partnership and the date that the termination is effective. Finally, you should immediately express compassion that this is difficult news to receive and that you’re ready to help with resources.

Stick with the facts.

The individual being fired deserves to know why. Be honest, firm, factual, and blameless. Address problematic behaviors and issues with concrete examples to support your decision.

Use “I” instead of “you” statements as they come across as less accusatory. This also frames feedback to be about your own experience, rather than making it personal by painting the individual with broad negative strokes.

Actively listen to their side.

Now, it’s their time to share feelings and feedback. The person who’s being terminated gets to tell you their perspective, and this is where you listen and let them explain.

However, it’s important to still set reasonable boundaries. Just because you offer a space for them to speak, be heard, and explain does not mean that they get to use this space to ramble or attack you. Simply give them the space to feel seen and just listen without waiting for your turn to speak.

Recap the meeting and next steps.

Maintain a warm yet assertive demeanor while summarizing the conversation. Outline what happens after they leave your meeting, and state that you’ll follow up on everything you just said in writing.

Keep the wrap-up centered on finding a positive way forward for both parties. Reiterate that you’ll provide resources and support to help them transition smoothly (and do so!).

Feel your feelings, then let it go.

Firing someone is a gut-wrenching but often necessary step in maintaining a healthy and productive business, but don’t forget to handle yourself with care.

Buy yourself a treat and take it easy after delivering the message. Chances are you’ll be emotionally spent, so this isn’t a good time to pack your schedule with client meetings or other taxing events.

Allow yourself enough space to feel sad, relieved, and/or guilty, then turn the page. As long as you approached the situation with empathy, professionalism, and fairness, you likely did the right thing.

We frequently share strategies like these in our private community for nanny agency owners, Arise, which is where entrepreneurs like you stop figuring out these difficult parts of owning an agency alone.

Learn more about how you can join us here.

“I appreciate the community because it is a consistent gathering of like-minded business owners. I believe it is the best value because of the extra content made available to the community.” - Jacqueline W., A Mother’s Prayer Placement